4.29.2003
-A most negative mood-
Yes, I do feel down sometimes...
The storm clouds are gathering above my head, despite it being a fantastically warm and hot day. I stalk down colleagues and glare at them for mispronouncing my name ("Is it John-A?" - is it hell, you *b-word*, now get back to doing your share of the work for a change). I finish my tea with a little too much gusto. Coffee crackers crack in front of me. Yoghurt turns a whiter shade of pale as I poke it menacingly. Emails with documents attached for review are blazed off the screen with my X-ray vision. For I am back as the Queen of Crab (Q.C. - the original queen is Lucy from Peanuts).
I am like a molecule trapped in a swirl of sugar which is burning instead of becoming toffee. My whole life is weighing me down. Every breath I take is burdensome, every decision I make is counteracting with the larger forces of destiny, the stars and what-have-yous. There are no black kites outside my window today - they probably realise they'd become Hong Kong Roast Nuggets if they dared to fly near.
I sigh deeply as I contemplate my possible life-long destiny as Q.C.. Might as well get drunk later when I go out to the art jam - we're meant to do some 'art' to auction off for charity in a wine bar later. Might as well get SARS. Q.C.s are a bit difficult to kill off, though (c.f. Lucy from Peanuts).
I am going off to see if there is a sandbag in the vicinity I can punch to vent these feelings. Throwing your rubbish into the bin from a distance doesn't quite have the same ring to it.