5.04.2003
-How to make a Monday morning into 'eternity'-
"Take a Monday morning and add in a swirl of black, angry stormclouds complete with thunder and lightning. Add in a subject (preferably a girl) who has not slept very well for two nights in a row because of other thunderstorms prepared earlier. Shake said subject thoroughly with ultra-loud alarm clock at 7.30am and rinse with cold water. Make straight hairs on your subject with a blast of hot air, then cover her with a dry, well-ironed shirt and suit. Cover her legs well with stockings and closed-toe shoes. It is important to lull your subject into false sense of normality, otherwise the mixture may not rise as planned. Then put your subject into the streets of Happy Valley, temperature 25 degrees, humidity level 89%, with ten other commuters in front of your subject also waiting for a taxi.
At some point your subject may start humming - this is entirely normal and should not affect the overall flavour of the mixture. Make sure your subject is thoroughly soaked in the all singing, all dancing stormcloud mixture and marinate for 20 minutes (this should stop any humming). You will be able to tell that the marinade has worked if your subject has a condition described as 'trench feet' and the black dye of the shoes has worked well into the toes. Ideally your subject should fall apart when poked with an umbrella and the clothes and hair should give the impression that your subject is competing in a wet t-shirt competition.
Season with a taxi driver who claims he is a 'Hong Kong driver no speak English' and drives around entire office block before entering into the entrance he should have done to begin with. Make sure your subject had already uttered, in Chinese (or an imitation of it at least), the location of office, if you like garnish. Your 'eternity' should now be ready to eat.
The smell of a burning temper should be rising nicely from your subject's office. Lukewarm tea should go well with the bitter overtones of the dish. Bon appetit. "
Extracted from 'Commutes-I-have-known' by A. Certainjeongakim, 2003