- Idiosyncratic -

I used to think that I had a fairly easy-going, easy-to-please, low-maintenance personality. This idea was based on a test done when I was in the pressure cooker of a school in Seoul - at the age of sixteen, I was officially confirmed to be a stress-free zone. My parents congratulated each other on their parenting skills and considered it a job well done that they had never suggested to me that I should study harder.

Ten years on, I look at myself and realise that a lot has changed:

1. I am a picky eater. I make a fuss about everything and anything I eat and hyperventilate if I see someone else eating junk food, especially if that someone else is a loved one. This has led to instances of Liddle Sis hiding her monster pack of crisps from me so that she could eat them outside the flat we were living in. I think M. has been told not to pursue his love of brightly coloured sports drinks. I drove S. to tears by telling her she was eating far too many chocolate chip cookies (this one, I think, is a mistake. There cannot be enough chocolate in this world). Living in Hong Kong, I have been spending an inordinate amount of time reading the labelling of the ingredients in a shrimp wonton carton - they make it with pork here, and call it shrimp wonton!

2. I stress about work. I can't believe I am admitting to this of all things, but yes, I stress about getting things done and did I say the right thing and should I do more? I used to just work long hours. Now I work long hours and stress about long hours. Unfortunately I don't yet have the hangdog demeanour of a stressed person so people still use my office as a rest area or a conference room, coming in randomly to chat - sometimes even amongst themselves while I work. I am working on perfecting the 'don't-come-near-me' look instead of my usual chirpy greeting to my colleagues.

3. I have to deal with a relationship with a significant other. I sometimes wake up at night and wonder if I'm going nuts over the long-distance involved. Thankfully, these crises can be dealt with fairly simply just by hanging on to a telephone for dear life to talk to M. But it would be so much better not to have to deal with this. I'll be so happy when this is over.

I suppose part of all this change is part of being a grown up and being responsible for yourself. I should be so lucky as to never go mental over the mundane details of my life. Oh well, I resign myself to my fate as a stress-prone adult (relative to what I used to be as a teenager anyway). I think I need to get back to doing yoga.