Spineless

It has been almost two months since my flat in London was let out but I still haven't received my deposit, which is equivalent to a month and a half's rent. About ten days ago I got an email from the managing agent telling me that the deposit would be returned to me 'shortly'. You'd think being a lawyer I'd have better negotiation skills. Instead of asking when exactly I would be getting the money back, I meekly wrote back a thank you note.

My behaviour is indicative of the fact that I am lagging behind in the great scheme of evolution, as I seem to lack vertebrae:

1. I went to church last week even though I vowed never to set foot in one again after high school (it was a missionary school) because a friend suggested I go.

2. I went out after a painting session last night even though I was worn out because some people suggested we do so. My voice is now cracking with the lack of sleep.

3. I had two meetings each with two financial advisers, both of whom are patently not the right ones for me - one was trying to sell me life insurance, the other suggested I invest in some crazily risky funds - because I couldn't bring myself to tell them to bog off.

I can negotiate contracts and convince people to change their minds on these documents yet I cannot say 'no' to the simplest things when it comes to events in my own life. Who said you had to be assertive to be a lawyer?! Maybe I need to take courses in assertiveness. It's true what people say - lawyers are useless. At least if I had trained to be a baker I would be able to bake my own bread.