Only words

I learned a new word today- 'lessonising'. It was used by a doctor on a radio programme that was on in the taxi I took this morning - "We transform the experiences of the tone-deaf students and lessonise the ability to differentiate the sounds." (OK, that's the translation from the original Korean, but the guy used the English word 'lessonise' when he spoke).

If you think about it, it is a wonderful new way to sound extremely pompous. No using puny, simple words such as 'learn' here, no, you are meant to say "I lessonised not sitting near chain-smoking middle-aged men". I'll bet it will catch on in no time with management consultants. Watch out for the new entry to the Oxford Dictionary of English.

One word I have not got the hang of yet is 'martinize'. There is a laundry in SoHo (in Hong Kong, mind - it means 'South of Hollywood Road') called 'Martinizing'. Do your clothes start calling each other Martin after a spin in their washing machines? Or did they leave out an 'a' - should it be 'Martianizing'? In which case we have uncovered real, hard core evidence of an alien invasion!