Do you have to add up the score?

I read Ham Sandwich's entry today about giving and taking between friends. PJammer also had an interesting take on things, too.

When I was a child my mum used to scold me for doing everything my friends asked me to. I think to a certain degree I still automatically assume I can and will do whatever I can for my friends. I guess I haven't got a massive 'scorecard' - as long as you don't say or do offensive things, you're still on my list. It's better that way - I know I have a short temper and can over-react to the smallest thing, and I don't give enough to my friends - it's my way of making up for the qualities I lack.

I have broken off contact on purpose with one girlfriend before: a girl who was so needy she had me on the phone for hours on end, always, and when we met up it was always about her problems (no room for any of mine) and she would always be at least half an hour to an hour late (even if it was a working day, and I'm not even exaggerating about the 'always' part...). After 3 years of uni and 2 years thereafter of this, I just gave up (the last straw being when she swore at me in front of another friend).

But then I get more impatient with family and my boyfriend - I expect them to read my mind, sometimes, and occasionally I am guilty of taking them for granted. So what's there to keep score? Whomever you interact with, it's all part of your circle of acquaintances, right? You give in some ways and you take in others. Do you invite someone to your birthday party in the hope they will buy you presents? Do you give someone a Christmas card in the hope that you'll get one back? It's not all about adding up.