Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover, nor a lawyer by her hairstyle

OK, I have lived with my new haircut for 5 days. I think that's enough time to say that I have given it a fair trial, so here's my conclusion: I HATE IT. I HATE MY HAIR.

It's not that it's not a nice hairstyle worth every Hong Kong dollar I poured into it. It's not that I don't approve of all those women out there who have mid-length hair with a side parting and curls that flick out. It's just not me.

I called M. for commiseration as soon as I got back from the hairdresser last week, to no effect.

Me: "They gave me a side parting."
M.: " That's good. You were developing a bald spot when you had a centre parting."
Me: "A WHAT?"
M.: "You know, because of the pressure of your hair on your head."
Should I kill this man? He is telling me I had a bald spot.
Me: "I don't like it."
M.: "What are the other people in the office saying?"
Me: "That's not important. What's important is what I think about it."
M.: "Come on now...."
Me: "(Sigh) OK. They say I look cool and sophisticated."
M.: "See?"
This is not going the way I wanted.
Me: "I'm going to shave my head."
M.: "No you won't. I have to see it first."
Me: "I'll cut it shorter."
M.: "NO YOU WON'T. I don't want you to have short hair."

I don't want to live with my hair. I don't want lawyers approving of my hair! You know, I'm meant to be vaguely anti-Establishment, liberal, anti-Conservative (even if it means voting for Blair) and I'm meant to look it at least to some extent, instead of looking like some CNN newsreader. I mean, why else do you think I have my own paintings hanging in my office, instead of the company calendar or something just as bland? And I don't do 'sophisticated'. I'm a 'jeans and t-shirt' kind of gal, you know? Now when I wear jeans and I see my reflection, even I feel like "Hey, where are my three children, colonial house in the suburbs and my SUV?" Damn it, this hair even needs styling with a hair curler and wax if I want it to look presentable.

Give me back my long hair - at least I could tie it up without having to wear two hairpins on the side parting so that I end up looking like a two year old. I feel like I need to have a sign on my door saying "I don't drive an SUV, really". I guess I need to make do with the current sign on my door - it's a picture of a rock saying to a ruler, "You rule!" and the ruler is saying to the rock, "You rock!".

I should buy a wig.