Warning: Hazchem. No, I mean HazJeong

You might have had an inkling that something hasn't been quite right in Jeong-A Land for the past couple of days - take my overblown reaction to the email worm, for example. You were right. I, on the other hand, didn't have any idea things weren't quite right until today. Finally, everything is falling into place. I know now what makes me act like this:

- Random acts of Jeong-A in the past 24 hours -

1. Pick fight with cabbie. I killed the alarm despite being late, slept until 8.44a.m. (I usually get up at 7 or 7.30), then decided to wait for a bus even though the clock hands were crawling towards 10 a.m., then once I realised it was too late and the bus was never going to arrive on time I decided to take a taxi. I got into a fight with the cab driver.

Me: "IFC 2?"
Cabbie: "Eh? Sheung Wan?"
Me: "What the ****? I just said 'IFC 2'. What part of 'IFC 2' is in Sheung Wan?"
Cabbie: "Centre?"
Me: "Centre of what? Oh god. Airport Express?"
(The Airport Express station is underneath IFC 2)
Cabbie: "Airport?"
Me: "Not the airport, the express station."
Cabbie: "Central? Hong Kong station?"
Argh. When I finally got to the office I was ready to burst into tears.

2. Pick fight with M. I had a conversation with M. last night which went something like this:

Me: "So I said .... blah blah blah..."
M.: "Um, yeah....."
Me: "You're not listening to me. Are you typing something?"
(This usually has to happen at some point or another because I phone M. at work. And usually, it is completely fine - I have to do it too, when he calls me at work)
M.: "Yes."
Me: "Oh. Well, obviously whatever I'm saying is really boring. I'll just go now and let you finish what you were doing. Have a good day."
That's right...I am going to cry in a corner now.
M.: "Wait, don't hang up if you're going to be that annoyed!"

3. Scare friend off NY bar. A friend asked me about taking the New York bar and I just felt like crying. I didn't though. I answered her back with all truthfulness and she didn't respond. Which made me feel like crying. OK. Maybe I was exaggerating a little bit on the emotional toll of it. Maybe a little. Well, it turns out the reply I sent back to her was so 'shocking in its horrible reality' that she was shocked into silence.

4. Deny myself chocolate. E.M. said I looked like I hadn't had any sleep. It's true - I stayed up until 2.22 a.m. wondering about life, death, the universe....and felt like crying. She offered to buy me chocolates. But I need to stop my elephant arse from expanding into a mammoth one, so I declined. Which made me feel like crying.

5. Attempt to maim colleague. Sad Asssociate went to get coffee with me and nearly got his head bitten off when he teased me for fun. I felt like crying.

I am scaring everyone, in short. So, I wasn't going to do this, but I feel like I owe a duty to society to tell you all:

It is getting close to my time of the month. DO NOT COME NEAR ME, unless you want to buy me a boxful of chocolates and tell me that I am the most WONDERFUL PERSON ON EARTH, even if I have funny hair and a serious personality problem. Evacuate the building if you have to. Evacuate planet Earth if needs be. But I'm warning you now - I'm hazardous for the next 24 hours.

I'm going to cry now.