I need a wig as my head is all shaven and shorn

Chinese Sad Associate has had her hair dyed, permed and cut by a guy who is apparently the hairdresser to the stars in Hong Kong. She had fantastic multicoloured layers of curly hair that she can swoosh around, Pantene model-style, stopping traffic. While I didn't think my hair would look as good after a visit to the hairdresser's, I thought it would benefit from going to see a professional.

So I went to visit another guy who was recommended by Chinese Sad Associate.
"I'd like a trim, please, and maybe some layers to get the weight off the back of my hair," I said. The guy cheerfully nodded and said, "Yes, I can see what needs to be done, you know?" and started cutting away. I was buried deep in the latest issue of InStyle magazine for a while, so I didn't realise what he had done until he asked me to lift my head up for the blowdrying. I gasped when I saw myself in the mirror.

Now, this is the bit I really want to talk about. If someone says they want a trim, does this mean that they are happy to see 6 inches of hair lopped off? Surely that is not what is going on in hair salons around the world? All the girls with bobbed hair would walk around bald if that is the case, right?

The hairstylist noticed I wasn't breathing, and said, "Let me show you the back," and brought along a mirror. I checked again. Yes, I had lost the length of my hair all around. I just said, "Er...OK...", not knowing what to say. The hairstylist said, "You know, you need to try different hairstyle, you know, otherwise you wouldn't know what suits you, you know? And hair grows back, you know?"
Honestly, what is it about my hair that brings out the sheep shearer within for hairdressers?
"Come back and we'll see, you know?" said the hairdresser, smiling as he showed me the door.

I went for a drink after that. My friends were trying to cheer me up.
"You look really stylish," J. said.
"This really suits you," Chinese Sad Associate said.
"It's a sexy style," Chinese Sad Associate's date said.
"No. It is not nice. I am not happy with it. I am going to look for my three children and stationwagon," I said, downing my Chardonnay in one go.
"Oh God, here she goes again," said Chinese Sad Associate, "You always say that after a haircut."
"That's because the hairdressers always turn me into a Connecticut housewife!" I yelled. "I'm meant to be more of a free spirit, not a football mum!"
"Finish your drink, let's go have dinner," said Chinese Sad Associate. So we did, but this morning when I saw myself in the mirror the hair hadn't grown back.