Jack be nimble, Jack be quick

My extensive research - conducted exclusively on this morning while munching over two blueberry waffles and nursing a slight hangover - has shown that 'Jack' is the most popular name for any action character in film or television, being the quickest name you can call out in moments of crisis.

You would waste valuable time, which could otherwise be spent on saving your own skin or the planet, if you were named Jeremiah, Bartholomew or Archibald. Picture the scene - a bomb will detonate in thirty seconds. If your name was Theodore, someone would have to shout to you, "The-o-dore! Bomb!" instead of, "Jack! Bomb!" which could have saved you (and others) two more vital seconds.

I don't have anything against long names, I'm just suggesting that if you want to save lives, you could think about changing your name to Jack.

- The lives of Jack, as seen on television -
'Law & Order' is run partly by Executive Assistant D.A. Jack McCoy.
'Without A Trace' shows FBI agent Jack Malone as big boss.
'24' has CTU agent Jack Bauer running around in circles.
'Alias' has CIA agent Jack Bristow as the overbearing father.

- The lives of Jack, as seen in films -
'Speed' had Keanu Reeves cast as detective Jack Traven.
'The Day After Tomorrow' shows Dennis Quaid portraying a meteorologist called Jack Hall.
'Titanic' shows Leonardo Di Caprio as a young artist called Jack Dawson.
'Pirates of the Caribbean: the legend of the Black Pearl' features Johnny Depp as a pirate named Jack Sparrow.

- The lives of Jack, as read in books -
All of the CIA agent Jack Ryan books written by Tom Clancy.