Mind games

Yesterday I was walking around in a bit of a haze: missed an appointment to see a flat (I know, how can you miss an appointment when you're not working? Ridiculous) and lost track of time generally. But I did get to discuss dating strategy with my friend D. over dinner.

It's fun to discuss these things, even though you know ultimately your friend is going to do whatever she wants. One of the first things I did when I thought something was going to happen between M. and myself was to go over to a friend's house and brood over it the whole day (M. did likewise). You wonder whether what you did was right, what's the next step and generally whether you've lost your mind in deciding to go out with this person.

We were talking generally about Manhattan men: in D.'s experience, all the men she has dated treat the first date like an interview. They talk about which school they went to, where they work, where they live, drop hints about how much money they make and they ask her the same questions. Then they say something about how the women in Manhattan are so materialistic. I just couldn't help laughing: is it that 'Sex and the City' was reinforcing existing cultural traits, or is it life imitating art? The idea of someone asking me such questions on a date is slightly crazy - why, if I give you the right answers, are you going to marry me on the spot? It's all just a game, isn't it, if you're strangers.

One date even talked about his exes. I thought that was taboo.
"He said she cried and accused him of not loving him because he hadn't bought her flowers on Valentine's Day, even though he had taken her away on a trip the weekend before."
"Wow."
"He says he can't deal with women because they are too emotional."
"Wait, was this a date?!"
"We had coffee."
"Why did she cry over not getting flowers? I don't understand."
"Well, I guess she was demanding."
"Really demanding."
"She was. She wanted him to buy her lots of gifts, like a $3,000 handbag."
We both roared with laughter at this crazy woman. D. said,
"I told him I'm too blue-collar for that. I don't know anyone who spends $3,000 on a handbag."