Back to school

I have found out many things about myself while being an indolent wastrel during the past four months. I had all these misconceptions about what I was like as a person - I thought I was hardworking and ambitious. But no, time has proven that I am definitely lazy by nature. At some point in my life, being diligent cracked something in me and now I have virtually no will power left to drive me on to achieve.

When I was younger I thought I would do so much more with my life once I had free time. "If only I had 24 hours a day at my disposal, I would become a successful baker!" I would cry out in my office opposite St. Paul's. That was when I first started out as a lawyer - but six months later I was put on a gruelling deal that required no sleep, and my idea of becoming a baker sounded half-baked. "If only I had 24 hours a day at my disposal, I would become a writer!" I would cry out in my office high above Victoria Harbour. But then I was put on a crazy deal involving Koreans, Americans and maniacs, and the idea of becoming a writer sounded half-witted. Now see what I have done during the four months of free time - I attended a writing course, read some books, experimented with food and M.'s stomach, and went to a few yoga classes. I haven't even bothered to get my driving license yet.

Oh, but it has been great being lazy. I haven't helped save dolphins, worked on conservation sites, worked pro bono or donated my time to teaching children to read. Nor have I embarked on cooking courses or travelled around. Those things can be done later, although maybe with not as much leisurely indulgence as I would have liked. But what has been great is that I spent so much time with M. - and after over a year and a half of being on the other side of the planet, this is important - and that I never felt the pressure to achieve anything other than that. I have been very happy being lazy like this.

This time next week I will be in my new office, wearing my new shoes and suit for the second time (the first time was at the interview). So far I've only had one nightmare involving an impossible research task and being trapped in an office with two other lawyers, but I'm hoping this time round things will be more manageable.