An example of how I lose control over the content of my own blog

Kristen did this to me. Sob.

7 things that scare me:
1. My temper.
2. Other people's tempers.
3. How deluded I am in thinking I am liberal and understanding when in fact I'm probably more of a snobbish sod than anyone else.
4. People's willingness to be snobbish sods without caring about it.
5. The ineptness of mankind's existence.
6. Matt Damon.
7. Elton John.

7 things that I like most:
1. The fact that M. and I can hang out together and not get on each other's nerves.
2. Reading a good book.
3. Cleaning out the hoover really well so that it is not clogged.
4. Meeting friends for dinner.
5. Talking to my family on the phone (it'll have to do).
6. Planning holidays and taking them.
7. The fact that we are insignificant specks in the universe and time will forget us. Thankfully.

7 important things in my room:
1. Let's just say it's got everything in it.

7 random facts about me:
1. My life is random, in a way. Who says we have control over anything? You just have to do the best you can at whatever you get thrown at you.

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Write, just for my own satisfaction, something longer than 20,000 words (10,000 words seems to be where I stop thinking writing is a worthwhile activity).
2. Induce M. to go on a diving trip with me.
3. Go diving in the Red Sea again (with or without M.!)
4. Travel to Burma, ideally with my mum. She wants to see the sites. I want to see the scenery. Not yet though.
5. Do pro bono work again.
6. Stay sane.
7. Grow old with M.

7 things I can do:
1. Talk the hind leg off a donkey.
2. Read for Britain.
3. Be surprisingly calm when confronted by very irrational circumstances. My family think I would pick a fight in such situations, but actually, when things go wrong and there's no one else to handle it, I do.
4. Kick - left, right, front and back.
5. Laugh with girlfriends over their dating mishaps. For years I was their source of mirth.
6. Read cvs and spot spelling mistakes, formatting errors etc.
7. Make M. laugh.

7 things I can’t do:
1. Fake enjoyment at seeing someone I don't like.
2. Pretend everything is fine. If you ask me on a day that's not good, I'll tell you I've had better days, although I probably will not elaborate why.
3. Stop drinking. Heck, I try, but I'm a lawyer.
4. Read Latin or Greek. That's why we have Liddle Sis in the house - the classicist is here.
5. Do any percentages or divisions in my head. My lack of maths skills leave people dumbfounded.
6. Win M. at any game - chess, Monopoly, pool. It's annoying.
7. Fit into those teeny weeny jeans that I once never fit into.

7 things I say the most:
1. Spell out my name in full, then repeat it.
2. "Holy cannoli". I love that phrase. I have found many occasions to use it.
3. "Why are you even thinking about this guy? He's such a waste of space." (said to girlfriend with yet another story about freakish date).
4. "Wait for me..." (said to night secretary who takes dinner orders).
5. "No, I don't think you're sick. I think you're stressed." (said to hypochondriac associate).
6. "Hello, baby." (said to M. after getting home past 11pm).
7. "Please, don't tag me with memes. PLEASE."

7. Celebrity Crushes:
1. New Kids on The Block. You mean you didn't like them?
2. Backstreet Boys (see a trend?).
3. ?
4. ?
5. ?
6. ?
7. Clearly I am mourning the dearth of good-looking boy bands. Life has never been the same since the Backstreet Boys turned a day over twenty.

7 people who could do this:
As ever, the buck stops here. PLEASE DO NOT TAG ME with MEMES. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE....

8:48 PM |