A review of HP4

Scene: Foil trays at the buffet for a private showing of that latest cinematic sensation, Ha_rry Po_tter and the Go_blet of Fire. One tray is filled with biscuits with butter topping, the other is filled with regular biscuits.

Normal Buttermilk Biscuit: "Oy. You all right there, matey?"
Biscuit with Butter Topping: "Ah beg yer pardon?"
NBB: "I was just wondering, you're sitting at a precarious angle somewhat, you know."
BBT: "Aam allrecht."
NBB: "Pardon?"
BBT: "Aam allrecht. Aam awe rite. Ye ken?"
NBB: "Er. OK."

The trays are lit up with the bunsen burners.

BBT: "Sae, whit did ye hink ay th'film?"
NBB: "Er. Say what?"
BBT: "Th'film. Whit did ye hink of it?"
NBB: "...You mean the film?"
BBT: "Aye."
NBB: "Well. It was a lot crammed into two and a half hours, wasn't it?"
BBT: "Aye."
NBB: "Oh wait. There was that Scottish girl - Cho Chang - she was interesting, wasn't she? That Potter is looking to get into her knickers all right, don't you think?"
BBT: "She hud a strang glaswegian accent. Ah didne hink they woods cest someain Scottish. Aam surprised. Aam canty fur'er."
NBB: "Er, right. You're surprised and you're er, what? Sorry mate, didn't quite catch what you said there - must have been the old earwax, you know."
BBT: "Canty. Aah said aam canty fur'er."
NBB: "Right. So. Of course...The merpeople were strange, though."
BBT: "Ah thooght mermaids woods be prettier."
NBB (looking visibly relieved to understand BBT's last comment): "Yeah, me too."

The trays start steaming.